you can’t save everybody
Being with ultra compassionate and empathy-driven friends, this is something we’ve been learning — and still struggle with.
Or maybe that people can be saved - but not by me.
There’s a limit of what can be done; there’s a limit of how much can be given; there’s a limit to capability and capacity.
I spoke tenderly to a friend last week about how there’s a part of me that wanted to be the hero. I wanted to take pride in being the savior. There’s so much history loaded there with my role in my family and the pain I wanted to take away (and absorb!!!) from my parents. If I could hold it, maybe they wouldn’t have to suffer. I was young, I had so much capacity, I could be their container.
I think that showed up in some of my hardest moments in life, too.
If I don’t have needs or wants, I could make sure others will be released from their suffering.
Martyr mentality! WHOOF!!!
Codependent healing aims for interdependency.
Where it’s safe and okay — even celebrated — to have your own wants and your own needs.
Find the gray area instead of the black + white. It doesn’t have to be completely self-sacrificing; and it doesn’t need to be completely “selfish” either. It’s okay and appropriate for persons involved to have differing wants and needs. That is living.
Not everyone can be saved.
And that’s incredibly painful for me to hold.
We don’t know when our time comes to an end - even if we do our best.
Death is one of the few assured things in life.
And what is meant to happen to one’s karmic soul will happen.
I can only do what I can do - without sacrificing my own well-being, security, and stability.
Tough lesson. One I revisit often and am still learning.