can there be a new way of making things?
How might I move away from social media to engage with my audience?
Is it possible to build a brand in the modern era without exploiting the attention, social media addiction, and (already diminishing) energy of my followers and supporters?
I want to create to nourish, to replenish, to provide reprieve for my friends, family, and followers of my work. How might I do that?
And - can my art do that for people?
Power in Compounding
Taking learnings in financial wealth building - it’s about compounding. The key to building a strong, stable foundation. A little at a time goes a long way.
Part of my mental health and creative practice integration means I still need to meditate and paint freely several times a week to show my mind + body + soul that I’m here for it. That inner Estella can still create and BE as she desires, even with the flurry of exciting huge things in the winds….
Every morning is an opportunity for a new start
No one is stopping you.
No one is making the rules.
You can change, set into motion, change, and BE whoever you want to be - TODAY.
No need to ask for permission. You just can.
Your life is your own. Your path is your own.
What will you do with the opportunity before you?
There’s No Perfectionism in Buddhism.
The answer isn’t in doing this right.
Remember to sit in the quiet - the yin.
You’ll find your answers within.
You’ll find your answers withyin LOLOLOLHELP….
Rewiring Neurosystems
The early stages of moving from Scorpio South Node (intensity, transformation) to Taurus North Node (stability, embodiment) often involve creating structured routines as a necessary foundation. However, the mature expression of Taurus energy isn't rigidity but adaptable stability—like a tree that's firmly rooted yet flexible enough to bend with the wind.
From a neurobiological perspective, this is part of the recalibration process. Your nervous system first needs consistent routines to establish safety, but eventually needs to develop flexibility within stability….
Expansion into Full Creative Expression
I'm more than just one type of artist. I create more than just watercolor paintings, digital illustrations, expressive figure drawings, immersive VR/AR exhibitions. The challenge I’ve had with all of these labels is that I truly don’t feel that any of them really encompass who I am as a full creative person.
Yes, I’m very well versed in creating art pieces with new technology. I’m also very well versed in visual storytelling with one static 2D image.
The things that are less visible….
Discomfort in Peace
I want a Life of fulfillment, with a sense of abundance, of belonging, joy, peace, protection, safety, love, and always with a dog.
It means getting used to the peace. It means riding the discomfort of my neurological system literally rewriting and rewiring itself to a Life of safety and stability.
It means letting go of the things that don’t align nor match with that.
It means leading with my nervous system
It means leading with….
Not Yours to Hold
It was never yours to hold
I’m sorry we placed that into you
The belief that you could be the only one to help us
It wasn’t yours
And we’re sorry
It was our chaos. It was our pain, our frustration, our mayhem…
Samatha
The daily creative work isn’t just about skill-building. It actually is not that at all.
It’s about showing up as myself, to myself, with my creativity. Honoring the authenticity of what and how I want to create as an expression of myself in the moment.
It takes a lot of mental fortitude to have gotten here - to break out of the high level expectations of my ArtCenter upbringing, to turn down the perfectionist voice. I frankly couldn’t have done this without regular art therapy sessions, which has taught me to make simply because I feel like it. This has required a lot of self-trust, discipline, and grounding to remember that my art is mine. And I can make it however I desire and please.
Whether it be a pencil, watercolor, VR, whatever new tech thingy, these are all mediums of my creation. I span and stretch the spectrum of creation….
A Moment to Feel
Learning to step away from intensity,
To take moments to sit in my quiet,
To allow myself to just be silent in my mind and being.
Even when it’s good intensity with lots of social time and exertion with friends,
I still need to carve time and space for myself….
the simplicity of life
Wake up • Take care of my morning needs • Exercise • Take Bryan out • Make a delicious nutritious bfast for myself • Daily paintings + meditations • Attend to the garden • Work • Check-in with friends • Time with P • Hang with friends over delicious food • Adventure with Bryan • Rest over music, art, trash tv, reflect • Sleep a lot <3 ….
Worth Making
I remember thinking, “I’m not good enough.
I’m not creative enough.
I’m not abstract enough.
I’m not original enough.”
and the list could go on.
I would see other artists’ work and wonder….