watercolor painting of yellow sky with dark gray-blue landscape in the bottom of the composition with dark trees in the foreground

Watercolor experiment with angled brush slowly, intentionally, with long and slow pressure flipping the brush around in circles without lifting off the wet page. Created some cool atmospheric marks.

ahahahha going onto Instagram feels like I’m being pummeled with a barrage of sounds and stimulation - and I have deleted it from my phone already after making that one reel the other day. ahahhahaha

Things I’m learning to accept and understand about this phase right now:

  • I do much better with quiet

  • I do much better with controlled input to my nervous system, mind, attention, and focus

  • There’s no need to feel guilty or selfish for that. It just is.

  • My creativity and mental health THRIVES without the external noise.

  • My creativity and mental health THRIVES in my day-to-day life with:

    • routine of my design — balancing health + ambition + family time

    • novelty and exploration sprinkled in through the week — plein air painting sessions, exploring a new place in Portland, taking Bryan somewhere new, going to a new place on a date with husband

    • x1-2 social commitments (maximum!) — how different I am now than even a few years ago hahhahahaha

    • have my x1-2 daily on-going group chats — it helps me feel connected, that I can share any and everything, that I can know about my friends’ lives on the day-to-day

    • make a delicious homecooked meal x1-2/week

    • and I really should get back into swimming and a workout routine 😅

I’m juggling what it means for me and my business that I actually can’t be on Instagram as much for these reasons, protecting my mental + creative health.

One way for me to still stay engaged with my amazing effin friends and supporters is this blog, my newsletter, creative events + activities.

I think instead of dispersing my energy and attention anywhere, I’m about putting my energy and attention in my direct connections and my direct community of Portland. That feels right, and that feels like the right scale for me + my nervous system to handle. I’m learning to honor and respect that of myself.

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What does a SUSTAINABLE life look like for me?

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can there be a new way of making things?